Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Shared recently on Slack:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Going viral on Discord:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Breaking via Discord:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Live now on Threads:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Just shared via Threads:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

6 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Clever, humorous quote about embracing silence and avoiding rudeness in social questions.

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Commentary:
Introverts unite! Quietly observing the world while extroverts hold the mic 🎤🤫🙃

am, ask, communication, function, hate, humor, i, interaction, introvert, me, much, others, people, personality, quiet, rude, rudeness, social, social interaction, talk, talking, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

2 months ago

child, drum, drum solo, flight, hours, humor, LA, longest, me, minutes, music, performance, sitting, solo, Tokyo, travel
Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

2 months ago

boss, childhood, hard, harder, humor, humor quote, mob, mob boss, negotiation, parenting, stubbornness, tiny, toddlers
If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

2 months ago

attempt, failure, humor, irony, joke, murder, only, success
Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

3 months ago

activity, beach, day, different, experience, fear, fun, fun activity, going, humor, Jaws, movie, ocean, shark, summer, watching
Short men store so much anger in their little body.

2 months ago

anger, body, comedy, humor, little, men, much, short, short men, size, store
I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

3 months ago

disrespect, etiquette, humor, i, irony, sarcasm, sir, title

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

80 shares on X this month:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

You will give your period 50 acres of prime pad, and it will still choose to encroach on your underwear.

Just shared via Slack:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Breaking via Facebook:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Trending via Slack:

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Going bananas on Telegram:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Live now on Messenger:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨