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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,069

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Live now on Slack:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Shared recently on Messenger:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Going viral on Discord:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Just shared via YouTube:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Just shared via Discord:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Just landed via Messenger:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Breaking via Messenger:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Introverts unite! Quietly observing the world while extroverts hold the mic 🎤🤫🙃

am, ask, communication, function, hate, humor, i, interaction, introvert, me, much, others, people, personality, quiet, rude, rudeness, social, social interaction, talk, talking, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

0

2 months ago

big, card, card game, cause, dollar, dollar signs, expression, eye, eye expression, eyes, gambling, game, good, good hand, hand, humor, i, player, poker, self-awareness, signs, turn
Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

0

2 months ago

appetite, humor, irony, lose, loss, mind, perspective, things, thought
My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

0

5 months ago

disappointment, ex, humor, i, know, life, lowest, lowest point, me, point, relationship, sarcasm, spot
Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

0

2 months ago

animals, calm, cow, farm, floor, food, humor, whole
The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

0

2 months ago

animal, awake, faking, humor, joke, pet, sleep, time
I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, body, body image, eat, Eat Pray Love, humor, image, jeans, journey, lifestyle, love, pray, self-improvement

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

67 shares on Threads this month:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

95 shares on Discord this month:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

73 shares on Threads this month:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

76 shares on Slack this month:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Spotted on Discord:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Just landed via Slack:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Just landed via Slack:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Spotted on YouTube:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Spotted on WeChat:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Breaking via Slack:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨