Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

My love language is being sent money.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Spotted on Telegram:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Freshly posted on Discord:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Going viral on X:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Streets be spillin' the tea I just brewed ☕️🤫😂

before, creativity, expression, fun, going, humor, i, joke, just, lie, literally, love, phrase, pretend, say, saying, something, speech, streets

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

0

2 months ago

commentary, eating, got, humor, metaphor, overripe, rich, social, social commentary, talking
I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

0

2 months ago

assume, devil, humor, i, irony, sold, soul, soulmate, supernatural
The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

0

2 months ago

ambition, aspiration, bags, goal, Gucci, humor, land, luxury, materialism, never, success, wealth
There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

0

2 months ago

abundance, always, charity, enough, fairness, generosity, greed, greedy, inequality, need, needy, never, scarcity, selfishness, sharing
Reincarnation, in this economy?

0

5 months ago

afterlife, economy, finance, humor, life, reincarnation, sarcasm
Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

0

2 months ago

hit, humor, joke, modern, modern humor, tech, tech joke, technology, vape, vaping

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

33 shares on X this month:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

60 shares on X this month:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Icarus loved hot wings.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Live now on Telegram:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Spotted on TikTok:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Live now on Messenger:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Making waves on Twitch:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Just landed via Reddit:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

Broadcasted on X:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨