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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,929

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Live now on Twitch:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
😂🐱 Proof that cats are the masterminds behind all major negotiations. They'd rather stage a hunger strike than eat subpar kibble! 🍽️🧠

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

1 month ago
anger, communication, frustration, humor, just, making, management, me, need, stop
There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

2 months ago
children, class, family, first class, humor, parenting, travel, travel class
Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

2 months ago
fall, flag, humor, orange, paint, red, red flag, relationship, seasonal, sign, warning, warning sign
Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

1 month ago
angel, arrogance, beautiful, being, confidence, ego, humor, humor quote, me, perfect, sarcasm, self-love, soul, vanity
If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

1 month ago
concern, humor, i, ID, me, meeting, personality, reflection, self, someone
Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

1 month ago
absurdity, am, email, escape, filled, funny response, humor, i, making, message, pockets, procrastination, response, sea, stones, thanks, unfortunately

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Spotted on Discord:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

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Activity Log ✨

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

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I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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