Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Spotted on Twitch:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Spotted on Reddit:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Breaking via Facebook:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Trending via WeChat:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Identity theft: the only crime where the victims are considering revenge with a side of financial sabotage! 😂💳 #PaybackTime"

activity, credit, credit score, ever, financial, fun, fun activity, humor, i, identity, identity theft, just, justice, mischievous, pay, prank, revenge, ruin, sarcasm, score, stole, theft

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

0

2 months ago

answer, ask, better, confidence, contact, eye, eye contact, humor, interaction, response, sarcasm, social, social interaction, weekend, witty, witty response, yours
Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

0

2 months ago

automated, automated system, enter, humor, last, phone, Pi, representative, satire, speak, system, technology
Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

0

2 months ago

bodily, bodily functions, diarrhea, discomfort, everything, functions, humor, shit, spelling, wordplay
We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

0

2 months ago

addict, addiction, choice, drug, humor, just, life, struggle
Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

0

2 months ago

dude, humor, language, respect, sarcasm, start
That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

0

2 months ago

end, fruit, game, games, gaming, gaming humor, great, hoarding, hold, humor, item, me, never, procrastination, relatable, thing, video, video game, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Instagram this month:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

52 shares on Discord this month:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

58 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

22 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

56 shares on X this month:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Trending via Discord:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Just shared via Telegram:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Shared recently on Slack:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Going bananas on Discord:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Seen just now on Instagram:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨