Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,930

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Spotted on YouTube:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Going viral on Facebook:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Trending via Snapchat:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Just landed via TikTok:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Going viral on YouTube:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Live now on Twitch:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Just landed via YouTube:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Every time I leave the house, I'm reminded why sweatpants exist 😂🙈

admission, admit, afraid, bad, bad decision, daily, daily life, decision, example, good, house, humor, i, idea, irony, leave, leaving, leaving house, life, mistake, self-deprecation, terrible, thought, today, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

0

2 months ago

away, comedy, emotional, emotional suppression, feelings, health, humor, i, jokes, mental, mental health, replace, right, sarcasm, self-deprecation, sorry, suppression, wit
I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

0

2 months ago

book, corner, dog, dog ear, ear, humor, math, page, page corner, pets, reading
We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

0

3 months ago

AI, AI video, car, cars, cool, eat, flying, flying car, future, humor, jackson, McDonald’s, michael, Michael Jackson, showing, stuff, technology, video, videos
Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

0

2 months ago

date, expectations, girlfriend, hours, humor, needs, problem, ready, relationship, sh, time
Half princess, half menace.

0

2 months ago

contrast, duality, half, humor, menace, personality, playful, princess
What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

0

2 months ago

activity, blanket, blanket fort, childhood, fort, fun, fun activity, humor, imagination, privacy, safe, safe space, secret, space

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

23 shares on X this month:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

27 shares on X this month:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Spreading quickly via Threads:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Making waves on Instagram:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Spotted on X:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Just landed via Instagram:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Seen just now on WeChat:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Half princess, half menace.

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨