Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Spotted on Slack:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Trending via TikTok:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Spotted on Slack:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Seen just now on Threads:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

2 months ago

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Always helpful to have a reminder not to reenact a scene from Thelma & Louise! 🚗💨🤣

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Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

15 shares on Threads this month:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

51 shares on Discord this month:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Just shared via Snapchat:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

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Activity Log ✨

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Life is weird and then you die.

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Keep the laugh going 😂

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Life is weird and then you die.

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨