Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,615

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Making waves on Telegram:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Going viral on Twitch:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Going viral on Slack:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Just shared via Telegram:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Always helpful to have a reminder not to reenact a scene from Thelma & Louise! 🚗💨🤣

cause, cliff, comedy, drive, driving, grateful, gratitude, humor, i, irony, me, people, reckless, remember, safe, safety, sarcasm, tell

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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Discord this month:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

45 shares on Facebook this month:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

41 shares on Threads this month:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

50 shares on X this month:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Trending via Facebook:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Spotted on Instagram:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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