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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,736

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Live now on X:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Clever humorous text about inflating a life jacket with a credit card during water landing.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Life jackets accepting contactless payments now? Hope they have a good rewards program! 😂💳✈️

airplane, airplane safety, card, credit, credit card, emergency, event, head, humor, inflate, jacket, joke, landing, life, life jacket, over, place, safety, swipe, water, water landing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Twitch this month:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

69 shares on X this month:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

85 shares on Threads this month:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

Making waves on Threads:

I let people skate. I never mention the ice is thin.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

Spotted on YouTube:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Spotted on Snapchat:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Going bananas on X:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Trending via Telegram:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Just shared via Instagram:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Spotted on Slack:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨