Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Just landed via Facebook:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Just shared via Discord:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Trending via YouTube:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Trending via Discord:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Seen just now on YouTube:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Breaking via Threads:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'm waiting for a modern Mr. Darcy to pop up in my DMs instead of just popping up in my notifications 😂📱📖

austen, dating, ghosting, humor, jane, Jane Austen, left, left on read, man, me, media, men, mine, rain, read, relationship, social, social media, someone, story, us

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

0

4 days ago

distraction, humor, media, procrastination, scroll, scrolling, social, social media, technology, time, year
I’m going to hell in every religion.

0

2 months ago

afterlife, belief, every, going, hell, humor, joke, religion
Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

0

2 months ago

attraction, dating, dynamics, flirt, handsome, harassment, humor, perception, relationship, social, social dynamics, ugly
So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

0

2 months ago

across, adult, adult behavior, baby, behavior, bottle, crawling, cute, floor, funny observation, humor, i, intervention, need, observation
It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

0

2 months ago

dysfunction, erectile, erectile dysfunction, hard, having, humor, intimacy, relationship, struggle
I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, beautiful, creativity, emotion, everyone, feel, humor, joke, pain, poorly, something, transformation, turn, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on YouTube this month:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

93 shares on X this month:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

65 shares on Threads this month:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

67 shares on Discord this month:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Trending via Slack:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Live now on Messenger:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Just landed via Instagram:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Making waves on Twitch:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Breaking via Discord:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Going bananas on Slack:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨