Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,237

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Spotted on Messenger:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Freshly posted on X:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Breaking via Threads:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Just landed via Twitch:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Live now on Telegram:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'm waiting for a modern Mr. Darcy to pop up in my DMs instead of just popping up in my notifications 😂📱📖

austen, dating, ghosting, humor, jane, Jane Austen, left, left on read, man, me, media, men, mine, rain, read, relationship, social, social media, someone, story, us

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

0

2 months ago

date, guy, humor, jealousy, me, movie, movie star, Pete Davidson, relationship, star, want, whining, women
I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, grow, grow up, humor, idea, kid, kids, love, tell
Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

0

2 months ago

being, humor, ignore, ignored, intelligence, IQ, media, sarcasm, social, social media, Twitter
Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

0

2 months ago

am, block, blocking, confidence, here, humor, hurricane, i, me, media, metaphor, playful, sarcasm, social, social media
Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

0

2 months ago

attitude, back, crazy, girl, humor, i, nostalgia, personality, still
Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

0

2 months ago

artwork, comment, fridge, humor, kid, kids, mean, mean comment, media, parenting, preparation, social, social media, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

83 shares on X this month:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

87 shares on Slack this month:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

90 shares on Threads this month:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Spotted on Pinterest:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Trending via Snapchat:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Shared recently on TikTok:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Just shared via Telegram:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Going viral on X:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨