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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,313

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Trending via Pinterest:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Spotted on Telegram:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Spotted on Discord:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Spotted on Instagram:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

Making waves on YouTube:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Trending via Slack:

Simplicity is so complicated.

Making waves on Slack:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

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Commentary:
Still buffering in the morning like a Wi-Fi connection in the basement 😂📱🌛

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

13 shares on Threads this month:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

54 shares on X this month:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,534

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Trending via Threads:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Making waves on X:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Going viral on Slack:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

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