Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Fun fact: sexual tension is more fun than the sex itself.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Just landed via Facebook:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Just shared via Facebook:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Just shared via Snapchat:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Making waves on Twitch:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

4 weeks ago

Playful quote about boosting mood with silly animal voices and unexpected love.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
It's amazing how a goofy voice and a furball can turn anyone into Dr. Doolittle on happy pills! 🐶😄🐱

affection, animal, booster, day, day improvement, funny voice, humor, improvement, interaction, just, kind, looking, love, miraculous, mood, mood booster, much, pet, pet interaction, saying, stuff, voice, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

1 month ago

active, activity, both, contradiction, exercise, humor, laziness, lazy, people, same, stairs, step, steps, take, time, walking
Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

4 weeks ago

asking, cyber, Cyber Monday, deal, deals, humor, landlord, Monday, negotiation, rent, shopping
Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

1 month ago

cheese, comfort, comfort food, food, grilled, grilled cheese, healing, healing power, humor, never, power, sandwich, underestimate
Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

4 weeks ago

accident, billboard, car, distraction, drive, driving, humor, irony, reading, safety, said, text, texting
I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

1 month ago

away, boundary, conversation, humor, i, keep, kids, lot, me, parenting, people, swear
Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

1 month ago

bottle, condiment, fast, faster, food, humor, ketchup, kitchen, little, nothing, only, want

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

44 shares on X this month:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

56 shares on Discord this month:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

13 shares on Messenger this month:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Going viral on Telegram:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Shared recently on TikTok:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Trending via Slack:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Going bananas on Twitch:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Live now on Telegram:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Keep the laugh going 😂

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨