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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,068

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Shared recently on Threads:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Shared recently on Slack:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Making waves on X:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Just shared via YouTube:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Going viral on Messenger:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Going viral on TikTok:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

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Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.
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Commentary:
It's amazing how a goofy voice and a furball can turn anyone into Dr. Doolittle on happy pills! 🐶😄🐱

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on X this month:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

38 shares on Discord this month:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

27 shares on Discord this month:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

11 out of 10 women are always right.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,958

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Just landed via Threads:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Just landed via X:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Live now on Twitch:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Just landed via Instagram:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Just landed via Instagram:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Making waves on Pinterest:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

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