Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

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My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

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Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.