Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Just shared via Threads:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Live now on TikTok:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Going viral on YouTube:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Trending via Telegram:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Just landed via Telegram:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Spotted on WeChat:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

4 weeks ago

Playful text about sneaking into someone's DMs for a cozy stay.

Download image ↓

…

Commentary:
"Sure, but bring snacks! 🍿📲 #CouchSurfingInTheDMs"

communication, crawl, digital, digital communication, DM, DMs, flirting, humor, i, media, messaging, mind, playful, romance, social, social media, stay, while

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

87 shares on Discord this month:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I don’t think I’m allowed to be in public for over an hour.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Dear Santa, Money!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Just landed via YouTube:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Seen just now on X:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Freshly posted on Threads:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Going viral on Threads:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Seen just now on X:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Going viral on YouTube:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Just shared via Discord:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Keep the laugh going 😂

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨