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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,534

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Breaking via Threads:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Spotted on TikTok:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Just shared via Discord:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Broadcasted on Threads:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Trending via Pinterest:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

2 months ago

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I always knew Dad's real talent was secretly saving internet bandwidth 🌐💸👏

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17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

22 shares on X this month:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Thank you, moon, for staying awake so late.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

100 shares on YouTube this month:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Asking the cashier how I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Live now on Messenger:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Trending via Discord:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Going bananas on YouTube:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Trending via Instagram:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

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Activity Log ✨

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Keep the laugh going 😂

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨