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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,656

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Trending via YouTube:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Spotted on Facebook:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Packing boxes and hunting for lost socks: a true horror movie disguised as moving day! 📦🧦😱

event, experience, experiences, human, human experience, moving, relocation, stressful, stressful event, worst, worst experience

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

0

2 months ago

awareness, difference, health, humor, joke, me, mental, mental health, mental health awareness, mental health joke, only, outside, psych, psychiatric, psychiatric ward, someone, ward
This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

0

2 months ago

ceremony, commentary, email, event, humor, me, observation, social, social event, unexpected, wedding
In a relationship with my heated car seat.

0

2 months ago

car, comfort, heated, heated seat, humor, love, relationship, seat, warmth
Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

0

2 months ago

biopsy, cancer, election, elections, except, family, half, hopes, humor, irony, results, waiting
She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

0

5 months ago

before, breakfast, cereal, humor, meant, milk, mistake, morning, morning routine, relationship, routine
Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

0

2 weeks ago

after, AI, AI bubble, back, bubble, disappeared, dot-com, dot-com bubble, humor, internet, joke, just, normal, pop, sarcasm, technology, wait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

28 shares on YouTube this month:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Trending via Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Going bananas on Facebook:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Seen just now on Telegram:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Just landed via WeChat:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Going viral on X:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨