Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

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I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

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I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

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I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

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The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

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I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

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Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

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Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.