Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,671

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Spotted on WeChat:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Breaking via Facebook:

I love having plans to cancel.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Spotted on Threads:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Spotted on YouTube:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Job interview? More like a complimentary ego-boost session. I'm ready! 💪😎✨

again, am, amazing, free, going, growth, humor, i, interview, invitation, job, job interview, literally, motivation, nervous, nervousness, never, personal, personal growth, public, public speaking, self-confidence, self-praise, speaking, talk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

0

4 months ago

addiction, cigarette, eye, eyes, eyesight, humor, metaphor, phone, screen, screen time, technology, time
My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

0

2 months ago

always, buy, dumb, family, humor, kids, likes, mom, only, parenting, say, smart, Snickers, sometimes, stuff
It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, awesome, bro, cross, driving, family, honk, humor, i, just, move, moving, pedestrians, people, rage, right, road, road rage, sarcasm, should
I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

0

2 months ago

age, bad, feel, feeling, flex, guilty, guilty feeling, humor, i, man, mean, old, old person, overtake, person, sidewalk, stride, walking, youthful, youthful stride
Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

0

2 months ago

folks, folly, humor, otherwise, people, wisdom, wise
I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

0

1 week ago

better, comedy, critique, entertainment, humor, porn, show, stranger, Stranger Things, things, TV, TV Show, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

62 shares on Discord this month:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

60 shares on X this month:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

16 shares on X this month:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Spotted on Reddit:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Spotted on Reddit:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Going viral on Facebook:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨