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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I can’t wait for the “international law” crowd to discover that “human rights” aren’t real, either.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Shared recently on Slack:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Making waves on Pinterest:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Going viral on YouTube:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

Live now on Messenger:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Going viral on Threads:

God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Making waves on Facebook:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

3 months ago

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Living in a whirlwind of chaos, but cavity-free teeth are a priority! 😬🦷🚗💥

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65 shares on WeChat this month:

Study international relations and political science if you watch the news and think, I’d like this to make me even more depressed.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

54 shares on X this month:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

45 shares on X this month:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Just landed via Reddit:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Broadcasted on Discord:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Live now on YouTube:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Trending via Instagram:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Trending via Messenger:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

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Activity Log ✨

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Keep the laugh going 😂

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨