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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Just shared via Discord:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Just landed via Twitch:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Time travelers be like: 'We found your embarrassing 2012 post! 😅🤦‍♂️ #DigitalArchaeology #BraceForImpact'"

back, digital, digital footprint, embarrassment, footprint, God, humor, media, nostalgia, oh, online, online embarrassment, past, past posts, posts, privacy, share, social, social media, social media humor, somebody, something, sometimes, think, timeline

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

0

2 months ago

baggage, damaged, dating, days, emotional, emotional baggage, everyone, ex, getting, getting to know, going, impossible, know, love, modern, modern love, relationship, single, someone, something
I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

0

3 months ago

communication, humor, i, idea, love, media, online, online communication, originality, social, social media, someone, thought, thoughts, tweet, Twitter
If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

0

2 months ago

ambulance, childhood, cream, funny thought, humor, ice, ice cream truck, let, music, over, pass, passing, playful, playful question, pull, question, thought, truck
Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

0

2 months ago

asleep, charge, control, couch, funny observation, hand, humor, last, observation, remote, remote control, responsibility, sleep, weather, weeks
Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

0

4 months ago

childhood, enough, family, humor, kid, kids, old, parent, parenting, problem, relationship
How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

0

2 months ago

annoyance, bite, bug, bug bite, consent, humor, i, insect, joke, mosquito, pest, tell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

48 shares on X this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

68 shares on Discord this month:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Seen just now on Discord:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Shared recently on X:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Live now on YouTube:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Live now on Threads:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Making waves on X:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Going viral on Twitch:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Going bananas on YouTube:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨