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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,012

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Just shared via Discord:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Just landed via Discord:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Going viral on Pinterest:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Seen just now on Discord:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Spotted on YouTube:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That neighbor girl deserves an award in motivational parenting! 🏆😂👍

child, chore, clean, clean room, cleaned, excuse, family, favorite, favorite child, girl, guess, humor, i, kids, neighbor, over, parenting, room, rooms, told

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

0

2 months ago

cartoons, else, entertainment, humor, husband, kids, lesson, lessons, looney, Looney Tunes, moral, moral lesson, nothing, only, parenting, said, tunes, wants, watch
They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

0

5 months ago

childhood, food, humor, just, memory, milkshake, nostalgia, put, used, yard
I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

0

1 month ago

brain, closing, complete, done, humor, i, load, mental, mental load, pleasure, relationship, tabs, task, wife, worry
They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

0

2 months ago

humor, money, problems, sarcasm, solve, wealth
Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulthood, aging, changes, favorite, humor, life, life changes, peeler, vegetable, welcome
Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

0

2 months ago

commitment, commitment issue, dating, humor, issue, issues, love, low, oh, relationship, sarcasm, self-worth, situationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on X this month:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

51 shares on X this month:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Trending via TikTok:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Live now on Reddit:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Just landed via Facebook:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Freshly posted on X:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Trending via Messenger:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Shared recently on Slack:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨