Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,528

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Just shared via YouTube:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Making waves on Telegram:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Spotted on Messenger:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Live now on Slack:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Trending via Reddit:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Live now on Twitch:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Just doing my civic duty as a professional 'not-my-fault' driver! 🚗💨⬇️ #BlameTheSnail"

blame, car, car joke, driving, fault, humor, i, joke, little, me, patience, people, rage, right, road, road humor, road rage, sarcastic, slow, traffic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

75 shares on Slack this month:

If you want to sell something to a woman, show her other women using it. If you want to sell something to a man, prove to him no other man has it.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

81 shares on Slack this month:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Twitter is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Going viral on Threads:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Going viral on Reddit:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Broadcasted on X:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Broadcasted on X:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Trending via WeChat:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Just shared via X:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨