Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,498

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Spotted on Reddit:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Spotted on Reddit:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

Live now on Threads:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Going viral on Messenger:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Trending via Instagram:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

3 weeks ago

Humorous quote about self-doubt and bad news, with a playful, relatable vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Feeling like a human battery constantly at 1% 😅🔋📉 #SOSRecharge

ask, bad, bad news, feel, feeling, feeling bad, flashlight, health, humor, i, introspection, me, mood, myself, news, question, sarcastic, self-reflection, shit, staring, time, while, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on X this month:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

66 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

48 shares on X this month:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

All human behavior is performative, besides the crying of an infant.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

80 shares on Threads this month:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

65 shares on X this month:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Making waves on Pinterest:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Seen just now on X:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Just landed via WeChat:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Shared recently on X:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Shared recently on Slack:

Being awake is the worst.

Seen just now on Discord:

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Just shared via YouTube:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨