Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,239

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Going bananas on YouTube:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Just landed via Threads:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Seen just now on X:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Making waves on Instagram:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Spotted on Discord:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Feeling like a human battery constantly at 1% 😅🔋📉 #SOSRecharge

ask, bad, bad news, feel, feeling, feeling bad, flashlight, health, humor, i, introspection, me, mood, myself, news, question, sarcastic, self-reflection, shit, staring, time, while, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

0

2 months ago

drawer, frustration, household, household item, humor, impossible, item, items, open, purpose
“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

0

2 months ago

actually, dairy, Dairy Queen, drag, drag name, humor, name, perfect, pun, queen, wordplay
Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

0

2 months ago

bandwidth, boundary, busy, evolution, growing, growth, health, humor, independence, man, mental, mental health, neural, neural pathway, new, opinion, pathway, personal, personal growth, sarcasm, self-care, sorry, space, strangers, too
We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

0

2 months ago

drink, good, humor, irony, lying, lying down, man, moon, problem, put, relaxation, space, wine
The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

0

2 months ago

aggression, archery, conflict, guy, humor, i, inventor, irony, joke, man, over, stab
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

0

2 months ago

behavior, fall, friend, humor, irony, laugh, panic, phone, priorities, social, social behavior

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Reddit this month:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

27 shares on Slack this month:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

85 shares on Discord this month:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Making waves on X:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Spotted on Messenger:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Trending via Discord:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Breaking via Messenger:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Just shared via Threads:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Seen just now on Discord:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨