Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Going viral on X:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Trending via Messenger:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Making waves on Slack:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Making waves on X:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Just landed via Slack:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Shared recently on Instagram:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why stop there? I'd love a fast forward button too! 😂⏩🔊

conversation, got, humor, i, know, left, people, person, talking, tap, time, video, while, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

0

2 months ago

bar, employment, gaps, humor, job, job search, resume, search, space, space bar
Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

0

2 months ago

casual, communication, email, follow, follow up, humor, ignored, procrastination, reminder
Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

0

2 months ago

annoying, anxiety, being, chest, chest pain, discomfort, fear, i, me, need, nervousness, pain, public, public speaking, shy, shyness, speak, speaking, why
One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

0

2 months ago

animal, great, happiness, humor, joy, life, little, looking, observation, pet, pets, teeth, weird
I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

0

3 months ago

am, bold, contradiction, explain, humor, i, paradox, personality, same, shy, time
Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

0

2 months ago

before, brag, confidence, cool, humor, i, self-deprecation, unhinged

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

40 shares on Threads this month:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

81 shares on Threads this month:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

36 shares on X this month:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Just landed via WeChat:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Trending via Discord:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Seen just now on Discord:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Seen just now on X:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Seen just now on Instagram:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Spotted on Threads:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Going viral on Discord:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨