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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,042

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Making waves on X:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Just shared via Snapchat:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why stop there? I'd love a fast forward button too! 😂⏩🔊

conversation, got, humor, i, know, left, people, person, talking, tap, time, video, while, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

1 month ago
affection, executive, executive order, forehead, forehead kiss, give, humor, kiss, lighthearted, little, me, order, playful, relationship, signed
I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

1 month ago
balance, dilemma, humor, i, lifestyle, live, money, need, priorities, save, saving, spending
Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

4 months ago
airplane, ale, biscoff, biscoff cookie, cookie, delta, delta flight, drink, eat, flight, funny habit, ginger, ginger ale, habit, kind, position, pretend, sit, sitting, sitting position, snack, sometimes, unnatural
What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

1 month ago
funny question, humor, kind, life, life of the party, party, psychopath, question, wants
You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

4 weeks ago
accent, American, American accent, fake, fake accent, humor, language, literally, pronunciation, slang, speech, want
Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

1 month ago
day, debt-free, dog, hours, humor, laziness, least, nobody, pet, sigh, sleeping, unemployed

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Making waves on Reddit:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Going bananas on Threads:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

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You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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