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Commentary:
"Imagine pressing 'SAD' instead of 'SNOOZE' on Mondays! 🤷‍♂️💼 Let's just agree that emotional distress is a valid reason for a day off, okay bosses? 😂 #SadNotSorry"

able, call, excuses, humor, sad, should, work, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

1 month ago
anticipation, bed, home, humor, i, tiredness, tomorrow, wait, work, workplace
Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

4 months ago
bro, casual, casual conversation, conversation, Dre, forget, humor, just, question, seriously, surprise
If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

1 month ago
coping, humor, just, problem, realize, sad, sadness, self-awareness, sing, voice, worse
It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

2 months ago
distraction, life, media, need, overwhelm, perspective, social, social media, tweet
How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

1 month ago
authority, boss, even, guy, humor, i, just, know, skepticism, trust, word, workplace
My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

1 month ago
asked, communication, friends, humor, i, relationship, sarcasm, so-called, social, stop

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

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Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

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If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

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Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

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Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

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Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

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80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

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Seen just now on WeChat:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Going bananas on Threads:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

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I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Going viral on Twitch:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

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You should be able to call in sad to work.

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

I must retire to my chambers about this.

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

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You should be able to call in sad to work.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

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