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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,394

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Making waves on Instagram:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Live now on Pinterest:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Just shared via Telegram:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Shared recently on Threads:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
When you wish people came with a fast-forward button 🎬🤣🤭

apparently, communication, culture, forehead, humor, interaction, internet, internet culture, intro, poke, rude, rudeness, sarcasm, skip, social, social interaction, someone, start, talking, yell, yelling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The problem is I am always the problem.

3 months ago

always, am, humor, i, introspection, irony, problem, self-awareness, self-deprecating
My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

3 days ago

back, clock, dad, every, family, hard, hours, humor, once, set, sneeze, time
The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

2 weeks ago

avoidant, behavior, boy, communication, humor, irony, know, lover, lover boy, man, most, personality, social, social behavior, someone, somewhere, telling
Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

2 weeks ago

activity, being, comedy, driving, frustration, great, humor, love, mad, sitting
It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

2 hours ago

animal, fan, heatwave, hot, humor, i, just, nature, nut, nuts, saw, squirrel, summer
I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

1 week ago

addicted, addiction, close, coffee, humor, just, relationship

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Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Twitch this month:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

95 shares on X this month:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

97 shares on X this month:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

97 shares on Threads this month:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

16 shares on X this month:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Will probably never be loved, but I have to send emails, so I can’t really think about that right now.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Going viral on Instagram:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Seen just now on Threads:

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

Spotted on YouTube:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Making waves on Instagram:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Just shared via Slack:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Just landed via Reddit:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Going viral on TikTok:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The problem is I am always the problem.

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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