Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

Meteorologist: Itโ€™s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

โ€œIt’s been a long week!โ€ Me, on a Tuesday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

Itโ€™s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ง has downloaded:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,657

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on X:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Making waves on Telegram:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Now that I have a standing desk, Iโ€™m adding manual labor to my resume.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Live now on WeChat:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Trending via Snapchat:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Just landed via Slack:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Broadcasted on Discord:

If you call me โ€œdaddyโ€ in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Taking 'sliding into DMs' to a whole new level of sophistication! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ“ฌ #DMKing"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
โœจ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

51 shares on Facebook this month:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

29 shares on X this month:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

โ€œIโ€™m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.โ€

29 shares on Twitch this month:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I like that linguists chose the term ‘loan words,’ implying that one day we’ll get them back.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

But babe, thatโ€™s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Toddlers are like puppies, they donโ€™t care if theyโ€™re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Iโ€™m not โ€œlateโ€, Iโ€™m just very creative with my interpretation of โ€œtimeโ€.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has shared:

If you get drunk and message your ex, donโ€™t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Live now on YouTube:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Seen just now on Discord:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Seen just now on Discord:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Trending via Reddit:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Iโ€™m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big โ€œahhhhโ€ so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what sheโ€™s missing.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

People ask you, โ€œare you crazyโ€, and then get scared when you answer, โ€œyesโ€.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with โค๏ธ in Sydney โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒด