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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,668

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Making waves on Discord:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Trending via Pinterest:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Spotted on Slack:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Spotted on Telegram:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the perfect reminder that introverting is a full-time job! 😂🏡 #HomeSweetHome #PeoplingIsHard"

anxiety, around, dislike, dislike socializing, every, hate, having, homebody, house, humor, i, introvert, leave, people, personal, personal space, relatable, remember, social, social anxiety, socializing, solitude, space, time, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

0

2 weeks ago

alarm, alarm clock, bed, bedtime, before, clock, clocks, hope, humor, i, just, morning, morning routine, people, routine, sleep, time, tomorrow, wake, waking, waking up, work
They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

0

4 months ago

always, dating, everyone, health, humor, loneliness, me, mental, mental health, person, relationship, sarcasm, say, self-help, someone, therapist, unfortunately
People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

0

2 months ago

ariana, Ariana Grande, bon, Bon Iver, braverman, celebrity, comparison, courier, fonts, grande, humor, iver, jesse, Jesse Ventura, Jim, Jim Courier, lydia, Lydia West, people, roman, Roman Roy, roy, sound, suella, Suella Braverman, ventura, west, wordplay
I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

0

2 months ago

gift, heaven, i, ideal, ideal partner, kindness, love, man, marriage, marry, me, partner, relationship, romance, straight
I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, morning, noon, person, procrastination, sleep, time
There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

0

1 month ago

arrangement, best, dog, dogs, family, five, friend, friends, humor, lifestyle, literally, living, living arrangement, mansion, marriage, married, normalize, rule, start, ten

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

54 shares on Telegram this month:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Shared recently on X:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Broadcasted on Discord:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Making waves on X:

I’m sick of living through history!

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨