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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Why be pretty when you can be pretty weird?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,612

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Just shared via Reddit:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Going viral on Messenger:

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Just landed via Reddit:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Spotted on YouTube:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

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Commentary:
"Ah yes, the perfect reminder that introverting is a full-time job! 😂🏡 #HomeSweetHome #PeoplingIsHard"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Reddit this month:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,674

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Trending via TikTok:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Just landed via X:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Broadcasted on Threads:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Just landed via TikTok:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Live now on TikTok:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Trending via Twitch:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

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