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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,988

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Going viral on Discord:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Shared recently on X:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Going bananas on Instagram:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Just shared via Reddit:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Freshly posted on X:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the perfect reminder that introverting is a full-time job! 😂🏡 #HomeSweetHome #PeoplingIsHard"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

0

2 months ago

emotions, humor, i, mood, mood swing, personality, self-deprecation, swing
One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, comfort, fan, fear, fears, having, humor, sleep, survival, zombie
Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

0

2 months ago

affection, being, bit, connection, feeling, feels, little, love, loved, magic, right, romantic, romantic feeling, telepathy, witchcraft
I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

0

2 months ago

girl, girls, humor, i, individuality, media, podcast, social, social media, stereotypes
“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

0

2 months ago

before, caffeinated, caffeinated weightlifter, counterfeit, counterfeit sleigh, E, eight, except, feisty, foreign, foreign neighbor, i, keith, name, name Keith, neighbor, number, number eight, rule, sleigh, spelling, spelling rule, weightlifter, weird
You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

0

2 months ago

broken, coughing, doctor’s waiting room, doctors, friends, humor, illness, room, socializing, something, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

45 shares on X this month:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

87 shares on Telegram this month:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

57 shares on Discord this month:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

66 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Trending via Discord:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Making waves on Discord:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Spotted on Slack:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Trending via Telegram:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Trending via Discord:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨