Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Imagine being social on social media.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,954

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Trending via Threads:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Just shared via Threads:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Shared recently on Discord:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Just shared via Twitch:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Just landed via YouTube:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Shared recently on Discord:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Funny apocalyptic quotes

Funny apocalyptic quotes bring a hilarious twist to the end of the world 🌍💥! When chaos meets comedy, these witty lines turn doom into laughter 😂🔥. Perfect for lightening the mood during dark times or just adding some quirky vibes to your day 🌟💫. Ready to chuckle through the apocalypse? Let’s dive into some humor that’s out of this world! 🚀🤣

New funny apocalyptic quotes 👇

All funny apocalyptic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love it when God gives me money.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

59 shares on Slack this month:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

33 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

26 shares on Discord this month:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,013

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Spotted on Slack:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Making waves on Instagram:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

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