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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

23 minutes ago

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Facebook:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Just landed via Messenger:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Making waves on YouTube:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Live now on Messenger:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Spotted on WeChat:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Just shared via Instagram:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Reported on Telegram:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Home » Funny Attract Quotes

Funny attract quotes

Funny attract quotes are the perfect way to charm and chuckle your way into someone’s heart 😄💫 Whether you’re looking to break the ice or just sprinkle some humor into your day, these witty lines bring smiles and good vibes every time 😂💖 Get ready to boost your charm with a dash of laughter and lighthearted fun! 🎉✨

New funny attract quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Commentary:
"True, they're like human bug zappers! 😂✨🐞"
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Commentary:
"Who needs opposites when you can find someone to be double the chaos with? 🤪🤪 It’s like having a partner in crime, except the crime is being overwhelmingly annoying together! 😜👯‍♂️ #DoubleTrouble #CrazyLove"
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Commentary:
"Looks like this person has a magnetic pull for all the crazies 🌀🤪 Better swipe right on a therapist instead! #AttractingPsychos"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of polarity leading to nudity! 🔥 Who knew opposing forces had such a steamy connection? 😏 Remember, it's all fun and games until someone loses a sock! 🧦🙊"

For even more funny attract quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny attract quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

23 minutes ago

3,458

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I only drink when I people.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Slack:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Just shared via Messenger:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Shared recently on X:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Just landed via Messenger:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Spotted on Instagram:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Live now on Threads:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Making waves on TikTok:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Trending via Slack:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

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