Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,234

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Seen just now on Messenger:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Just shared via Threads:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Just shared via Telegram:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Making waves on Instagram:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Breaking via Messenger:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Funny bolt quotes

Funny bolt quotes ⚡️ are the perfect blend of wit and zap! Whether you’re into lightning-fast humor or just need a little spark to brighten your day, these clever lines will have you grinning from ear to ear 😄. Get ready to tighten up your mood and screw in some laughs—because who knew bolts could be this entertaining? 🔩😂 #BoltHumor #LaughOutLoud

New funny bolt quotes 👇

All funny bolt quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

14 shares on Threads this month:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

80 shares on X this month:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Hold on, let me overthink this.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I would rather lose you than the argument.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,676

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Just landed via Slack:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Spreading quickly via X:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Trending via Instagram:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Just shared via Threads:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Just shared via WeChat:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Making waves on Reddit:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

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