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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Seen just now on Slack:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Trending via Threads:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Making waves on X:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Spotted on Discord:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Freshly posted on X:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Just landed via Reddit:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Just shared via X:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Making waves on YouTube:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Broadcasted on Threads:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Just landed via TikTok:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Spotted on YouTube:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Trending via Facebook:

Salt is just angry sugar.

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