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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,953

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,953

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Live now on Reddit:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Going viral on Facebook:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Spotted on YouTube:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Trending via X:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Just landed via Discord:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Home » Funny Captain Quotes

Funny captain quotes

Funny captain quotes bring a wave of laughter to the high seas and everyday life alike ⚓😂 Whether steering a ship or managing a team, these witty lines show that even captains know how to keep things light and fun 🌊🎉 Ready to sail into a sea of smiles and clever quips? Grab your captain’s hat and get ready for some hilarious vibes! 🚢🤣

New funny captain quotes 👇

For even more funny captain quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny captain quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,953

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,953

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Breaking via Messenger:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Spotted on Reddit:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

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