158 funny cat quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Mar 30, 2026

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Mar 30, 2026

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Mar 30, 2026

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Mar 30, 2026

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Mar 30, 2026

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Mar 30, 2026

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Mar 30, 2026

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Mar 30, 2026

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Mar 30, 2026

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Mar 30, 2026

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Mar 30, 2026

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Mar 30, 2026

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Mar 30, 2026

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Mar 30, 2026

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Mar 30, 2026

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Mar 30, 2026

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Mar 30, 2026

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Mar 29, 2026

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Mar 29, 2026

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Mar 29, 2026

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Mar 29, 2026

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Mar 29, 2026

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Mar 29, 2026

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Mar 29, 2026

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Mar 29, 2026

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Mar 29, 2026

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Mar 29, 2026

Meow means woof in cat.

Mar 29, 2026

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Mar 29, 2026

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Mar 28, 2026

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Mar 28, 2026

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Mar 28, 2026

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Mar 28, 2026

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Mar 28, 2026

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Mar 28, 2026

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Mar 28, 2026

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Mar 28, 2026

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Mar 28, 2026

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Mar 28, 2026

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Mar 27, 2026