158 funny cat quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

May 27, 2026

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

May 27, 2026

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

May 27, 2026

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

May 27, 2026

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

May 27, 2026

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

May 27, 2026

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

May 27, 2026

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

May 27, 2026

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

May 26, 2026

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

May 26, 2026

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

May 26, 2026

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

May 26, 2026

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

May 26, 2026

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

May 26, 2026

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

May 26, 2026

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

May 26, 2026

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

May 26, 2026

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

May 26, 2026

Meow means woof in cat.

May 26, 2026

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

May 26, 2026

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

May 25, 2026

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

May 25, 2026

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

May 25, 2026

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

May 25, 2026

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

May 25, 2026

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

May 25, 2026

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

May 25, 2026

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

May 25, 2026

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

May 25, 2026

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

May 25, 2026

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

May 24, 2026

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

May 24, 2026

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

May 24, 2026

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

May 24, 2026

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

May 24, 2026

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

May 24, 2026

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

May 24, 2026

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

May 24, 2026

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

May 24, 2026

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

May 24, 2026