158 funny cat quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

May 24, 2026

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

May 24, 2026

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

May 24, 2026

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

May 24, 2026

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

May 24, 2026

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

May 24, 2026

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

May 23, 2026

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

May 23, 2026

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

May 23, 2026

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

May 23, 2026

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

May 23, 2026

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

May 23, 2026

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

May 23, 2026

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

May 23, 2026

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

May 23, 2026

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

May 23, 2026

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

May 23, 2026

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

May 23, 2026

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

May 23, 2026

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

May 23, 2026

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

May 23, 2026

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

May 23, 2026

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

May 22, 2026

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

May 22, 2026

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

May 22, 2026

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

May 22, 2026

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

May 22, 2026

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

May 22, 2026

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

May 22, 2026

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

May 22, 2026

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

May 22, 2026

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

May 22, 2026

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

May 22, 2026

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

May 22, 2026

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

May 22, 2026

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

May 22, 2026

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

May 22, 2026

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

May 22, 2026

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

May 22, 2026

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

May 22, 2026