158 funny cat quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Mar 27, 2026

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Mar 27, 2026

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Mar 27, 2026

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Mar 27, 2026

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Mar 27, 2026

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Mar 27, 2026

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Mar 27, 2026

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Mar 27, 2026

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Mar 27, 2026

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Mar 27, 2026

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Mar 27, 2026

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Mar 27, 2026

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Mar 27, 2026

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Mar 27, 2026

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Mar 27, 2026

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Mar 27, 2026

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Mar 27, 2026

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Mar 26, 2026

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Mar 26, 2026

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Mar 26, 2026

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Mar 26, 2026

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Mar 26, 2026

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Mar 26, 2026

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Mar 26, 2026

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Mar 26, 2026

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Mar 26, 2026

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Mar 26, 2026

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Mar 26, 2026

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Mar 26, 2026

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Mar 26, 2026

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Mar 26, 2026

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Mar 26, 2026

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Mar 26, 2026

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Mar 25, 2026

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Mar 25, 2026

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Mar 25, 2026

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Mar 25, 2026

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Mar 25, 2026

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Mar 25, 2026

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Mar 25, 2026