Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Trending via TikTok:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Seen just now on Instagram:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Funny certainty quotes

Funny certainty quotes bring a hilarious twist to life’s inevitable moments 🎢😂 Whether it’s about love, work, or the chaos of everyday decisions, these witty lines remind us that some things are just guaranteed — and often ridiculous! 🤪💡 Ready to laugh at the sure things that make life unpredictable? Let’s dive into a world where certainty meets comedy and smiles are 100% guaranteed! 😎✨

New funny certainty quotes 👇

All funny certainty quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Threads this month:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

68 shares on YouTube this month:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,493

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Just shared via Slack:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Just landed via Telegram:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Trending via Snapchat:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Making waves on TikTok:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Live now on Reddit:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Trending via Telegram:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴