Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,396

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Making waves on Slack:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Making waves on TikTok:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Just landed via X:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Spotted on Threads:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Going viral on Messenger:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Going viral on Instagram:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Funny certainty quotes

Funny certainty quotes bring a hilarious twist to life’s inevitable moments 🎢😂 Whether it’s about love, work, or the chaos of everyday decisions, these witty lines remind us that some things are just guaranteed — and often ridiculous! 🤪💡 Ready to laugh at the sure things that make life unpredictable? Let’s dive into a world where certainty meets comedy and smiles are 100% guaranteed! 😎✨

New funny certainty quotes 👇

All funny certainty quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Telegram this month:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

19 shares on Reddit this month:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Breaking via Telegram:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Making waves on Instagram:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Breaking via YouTube:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Trending via Twitch:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Trending via Discord:

Half princess, half menace.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Live now on Slack:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

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