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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1826 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,988

Funny Quotes Topics

14,794

Funny Quotes Images

11,988

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Just landed via YouTube:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Just landed via TikTok:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Just landed via X:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Making waves on YouTube:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1826 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,988

Funny Quotes Topics

14,794

Funny Quotes Images

11,988

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Trending via Telegram:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Shared recently on Telegram:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

Just shared via Facebook:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

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