Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,513

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Making waves on Twitch:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Just shared via Messenger:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Just shared via Facebook:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Trending via Reddit:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Funny cockroach quotes

Funny cockroach quotes 🪳😂 bring a hilarious twist to the tiny creatures we love to hate! From their unstoppable survival skills to their unexpected charm, these witty lines will have you seeing cockroaches in a whole new light. Ready to laugh at nature’s toughest little critters? Let’s dive into some bug-sized humor that’s sure to crack you up! 🕷️🤣✨

New funny cockroach quotes 👇

All funny cockroach quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Telegram this month:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

43 shares on Slack this month:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

92 shares on Threads this month:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,322

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Just shared via Twitch:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Spotted on X:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Shared recently on WeChat:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Spotted on Messenger:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Going viral on Discord:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“There’s a reason religion tells you your reward is after death; it keeps you quiet while you’re being exploited alive.”

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