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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,617

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Trending via Snapchat:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Just landed via Instagram:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Just landed via X:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Just shared via X:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Going viral on Slack:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Making waves on X:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Reddit this month:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

If you relate to me, get some help!

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

36 shares on Discord this month:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,990

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Just landed via Instagram:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Live now on Snapchat:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Trending via Messenger:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Making waves on YouTube:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Just shared via Threads:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Just landed via Slack:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Going viral on YouTube:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Just shared via X:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

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