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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Going bananas on Reddit:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Going bananas on Threads:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Breaking via X:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Just shared via Telegram:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Shared recently on Discord:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Funny deaths quotes

Funny deaths quotes 💀😂 bring a lighthearted twist to a serious topic, turning the end into something to chuckle about! Whether you’re looking to break the ice, add a dash of dark humor, or simply enjoy clever wordplay, these witty sayings will tickle your funny bone while reminding us life’s too short not to laugh. Ready to embrace the humor in the inevitable? Let’s dive in! 🎉🕺

New funny deaths quotes 👇

All funny deaths quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Slack this month:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

50 shares on Twitch this month:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

63 shares on X this month:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Onion rings? I’m answering.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,411

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Just landed via X:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Just landed via WeChat:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Freshly posted on X:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

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