Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,518

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Just landed via WeChat:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Just landed via Threads:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Spotted on Discord:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Spotted on Telegram:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Funny decay quotes

Funny decay quotes bring a hilarious twist to the inevitable 🍂💀 Whether it’s aging, rot, or the slow crumble of everyday things, these witty lines turn decay into comedy 😂🦠 Get ready to chuckle at life’s natural breakdowns and embrace the funny side of fading away! Perfect for sharing a laugh when things fall apart or just to lighten up the mood with some cheeky humor 😎✨

New funny decay quotes 👇

All funny decay quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Reddit this month:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

41 shares on X this month:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,558

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Going viral on Messenger:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Just landed via Instagram:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Live now on WeChat:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Just landed via Pinterest:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

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