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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I miss the days when “What’s for dinner” wasn’t my problem.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Making waves on Slack:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Spotted on Facebook:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Spotted on Slack:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Funny Feng Shui quotes

Funny Feng Shui quotes bring a lighthearted twist to ancient wisdom 🌿✨ Whether you’re rearranging your space or just love a good laugh, these witty sayings will brighten your day and boost your vibe 😄🏡 Ready to balance your chi with some chuckles? Let’s dive into the playful side of Feng Shui! 🎉🧘‍♂️

New funny Feng Shui quotes 👇

All funny Feng Shui quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Telegram this month:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

14 shares on Threads this month:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,439

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Unfortunately, forcing myself to take out the garbage, wash dishes, do a load of laundry, and vacuum has improved my mental health tenfold.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Just shared via Slack:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Going viral on Facebook:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Just landed via Threads:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

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