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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2444 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,606

Funny Quotes Topics

15,275

Funny Quotes Images

12,606

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Just landed via Reddit:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Trending via Facebook:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Just landed via Instagram:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Live now on Discord:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Home » Funny Fixing Quotes

Funny fixing quotes

Funny fixing quotes are the perfect mix of laughs and life lessons 🔧😂 Whether you’re a DIY pro or a total rookie, these witty words turn every repair mishap into a comedy show 🎭💥 Get ready to smile through the grease and embrace the chaos of fixing things with a lighthearted twist! 😄🛠️

New funny fixing quotes 👇

For even more funny fixing quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny fixing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2444 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,606

Funny Quotes Topics

15,275

Funny Quotes Images

12,606

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Going viral on Facebook:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Live now on X:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Spotted on Threads:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Reported on Pinterest:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Making waves on Messenger:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Just shared via YouTube:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Just landed via Pinterest:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

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