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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Trending via TikTok:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Freshly posted on X:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Freshly posted on Threads:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Going viral on WeChat:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Just landed via Reddit:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Funny fixing quotes

Funny fixing quotes are the perfect mix of laughs and life lessons 🔧😂 Whether you’re a DIY pro or a total rookie, these witty words turn every repair mishap into a comedy show 🎭💥 Get ready to smile through the grease and embrace the chaos of fixing things with a lighthearted twist! 😄🛠️

New funny fixing quotes 👇

All funny fixing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

95 shares on Twitch this month:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

65 shares on Threads this month:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

16 shares on Slack this month:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,355

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Going viral on Twitch:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Going viral on Twitch:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Making waves on Messenger:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Just shared via Telegram:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

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