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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Making waves on Twitch:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Reported on X:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Trending via WeChat:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Spotted on Slack:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Trending via Twitch:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Spotted on Pinterest:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Breaking via Slack:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Going viral on Slack:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

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