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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Just landed via Facebook:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Trending via Threads:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Going viral on X:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Spotted on WeChat:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Live now on Instagram:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Spotted on Slack:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Just landed via Messenger:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Live now on Slack:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Spotted on TikTok:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Trending via YouTube:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Spotted on X:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

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