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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,722

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Just landed via Messenger:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Spotted on TikTok:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Making waves on Pinterest:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Just landed via Reddit:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Making waves on WeChat:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Funny fur quotes

New funny fur quotes 👇

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

0

3 weeks ago

companionship, fur, having, home, humor, imagine, pet, someone

Someone from 🇧🇿 has recently bookmarked this quote.

104 shares on Discord this month.
The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

0

2 months ago

food, fruit, funny observation, fur, humor, kiwi, misunderstanding, observation, potato, thought, time

Someone from 🇨🇩 has recently copied this quote.

75 shares on Slack this month.
I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

0

4 months ago

feel, fur, humor, i, miss, nostalgia, technology, touch, TV, vintage

Someone from 🇲🇳 has recently bookmarked this quote.

45 shares on Snapchat this month.

All funny fur quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Slack this month:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

43 shares on Reddit this month:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

25 shares on Slack this month:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

They’re making me do work at work.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Live now on Telegram:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Going viral on WeChat:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Freshly posted on X:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Trending via TikTok:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Just shared via Facebook:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Making waves on YouTube:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny fur quotes

New funny fur quotes 👇

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

All funny fur quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨