Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,402

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Spotted on Discord:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Trending via Slack:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Spotted on YouTube:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Going viral on X:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Going viral on Messenger:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Funny healthy food quotes

Funny healthy food quotes 🥦🍎 bring a burst of laughter to your wellness journey! Whether you’re munching on kale or savoring a smoothie, these witty sayings add flavor to healthy habits 😄🍇. Ready to snack on some humor while staying fit? Let’s dive into the funniest, freshest takes on eating clean that’ll make your taste buds and your funny bone dance! 🎉🥕

New funny healthy food quotes 👇

All funny healthy food quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on X this month:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

57 shares on X this month:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,384

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Trending via Messenger:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Just landed via Discord:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Going viral on Discord:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

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