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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has bookmarked:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has viewed:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has downloaded:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has downloaded:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¨ has copied:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has shared:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

356 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,625

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,625

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,574

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on Threads:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Spotted on YouTube:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Spotted on Twitch:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Spotted on Twitch:

β€œListen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Just shared via Discord:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Live now on Messenger:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Trending via Messenger:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Funny host quotes

Funny host quotes bring laughter and charm to any gathering πŸŽ‰πŸ˜‚ Whether you’re the life of the party or just love a good chuckle, these witty gems keep the vibe light and entertaining 🎀✨ Get ready to smile, connect, and maybe even steal a line or two for your next hosting gig! πŸ₯³πŸ’¬

New funny host quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny host quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

77 shares on X this month:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

48 shares on Slack this month:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, β€œI’ve been to a gift shop.”

52 shares on Slack this month:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

356 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,625

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,625

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,651

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has shared:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ά has downloaded:

The peace of not knowing.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has shared:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has viewed:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Making waves on Facebook:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think β€œWhat would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Spotted on TikTok:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Freshly posted on Threads:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Trending via Slack:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Live now on Snapchat:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Making waves on WeChat:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

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