Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,994

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Spotted on Messenger:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Spotted on Threads:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Trending via YouTube:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Going viral on YouTube:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Just shared via Threads:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Just shared via Discord:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Home » Funny Host Quotes

Funny host quotes

Funny host quotes bring laughter and charm to any gathering 🎉😂 Whether you’re the life of the party or just love a good chuckle, these witty gems keep the vibe light and entertaining 🎤✨ Get ready to smile, connect, and maybe even steal a line or two for your next hosting gig! 🥳💬

New funny host quotes 👇

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

0

2 months ago

death, host, humor, irony, mortem, undertaker, wordplay
After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

0

2 months ago

activity, after, cooking, dishwashing, drunk, host, humor, kind, same, show
I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

0

2 months ago

am, cancel, commitment, host, humor, i, invite, me, party, social, someone
An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

0

4 months ago

alcoholic, host, humor, kurt, Kurt Vonnegut, morning, morning show host, satire, secretary, Secretary of War, shit, show, vonnegut, war

All funny host quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

51 shares on X this month:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,057

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Just shared via Discord:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Just landed via Instagram:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Trending via Twitch:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Spotted on Discord:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Just landed via Reddit:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Making waves on Facebook:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Trending via Instagram:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

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