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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,414

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Trending via TikTok:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Just shared via Slack:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Going viral on Instagram:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Freshly posted on Discord:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Trending via YouTube:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Live now on YouTube:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Just shared via Twitch:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Funny identical quotes

Funny identical quotes are like seeing double but twice the laughter 😂✨ Whether you’re spotting twins, doppelgängers, or just those moments when words perfectly match, these gems bring smile after smile 😄🎉 Get ready to giggle and share the joy of perfectly paired wit that feels like a hilarious mirror reflection! 🤣🪞 #DoubleTheFun #TwiceAsFunny

New funny identical quotes 👇

All funny identical quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on WeChat this month:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,313

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Shared recently on Telegram:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Live now on YouTube:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Breaking via X:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

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