Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,228

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Spotted on Facebook:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Trending via Twitch:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Freshly posted on Slack:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Just landed via Reddit:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Trending via WhatsApp:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Funny journalist quotes

Funny journalist quotes 📸📝 capture the wild, witty world behind the headlines! From chasing scoops to surviving tight deadlines, these gems reveal the humor in breaking news and chaotic pressrooms. Ready to laugh out loud 😄 while getting a peek at the quirks of news reporting? Dive in and discover the lighter side of journalism that every news junkie and wordsmith will love! 🎤✨

New funny journalist quotes 👇

All funny journalist quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Slack this month:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Sane is boring.

12 shares on Slack this month:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,277

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Shared recently on Telegram:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Broadcasted on X:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Just landed via WeChat:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Just landed via Pinterest:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

Breaking via TikTok:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

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