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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Coffee is just goth water.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

8 minutes ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Going viral on X:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Going viral on Messenger:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Spotted on TikTok:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Spotted on Messenger:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Home » Funny Journalist Quotes

Funny journalist quotes

New funny journalist quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Commentary:
"Lois Lane might need to borrow Clark Kent's glasses to brush up on her investigative skills! 🕵️‍♀️👓 Maybe Greg should consider a cape for added disguise next time!"
6 months ago
Share →: Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Commentary:
🤣🔥 Caveman: "I just invented the wheel!" 🎉 Journalist: "Hold my pen, I've got some hot takes on why the wheel is bad for humanity. Spoiler alert: it doesn't have good mileage!" 🙈 #StoneAgeHotTakes

For even more funny journalist quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny journalist quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

8 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Instagram:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Seen just now on Discord:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Going viral on Threads:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Spotted on Telegram:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

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