Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,498

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Just landed via Instagram:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Spotted on Messenger:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Spotted on Slack:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Going viral on YouTube:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Funny labor cost quotes

New funny labor cost quotes 👇

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

3 weeks ago

25, avocado, avocado toast, cafe, comparison, cooking, cost, delivery, eats, food, food delivery, home, home cooking, humor, labor, labor cost, minute, money, price, price comparison, time, toast, Uber, Uber Eats, value, value of time, worth

All funny labor cost quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

72 shares on WeChat this month:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?

87 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

“It is what it is,” I say, as I almost vomit from anxiety.

Live now on Threads:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Shared recently on Discord:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Just landed via Instagram:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Going bananas on Twitch:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Seen just now on Instagram:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Seen just now on Twitch:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny labor cost quotes

New funny labor cost quotes 👇

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

All funny labor cost quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨