Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,315

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Trending via Instagram:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Just landed via Reddit:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Spotted on Slack:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Going viral on YouTube:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Making waves on Reddit:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Going viral on Threads:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Funny launch quotes

Funny launch quotes 🚀 bring a hilarious twist to those exciting new beginnings! Whether you’re unveiling a product, starting a project, or blasting off into a fresh adventure, a clever quip can lighten the mood and spark smiles 😄. Ready to add some humor to your launch day? Let’s dive into the best witty words that make every kickoff feel like a party 🎉!

New funny launch quotes 👇

All funny launch quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Reddit this month:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

96 shares on Slack this month:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

38 shares on X this month:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

64 shares on X this month:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,371

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Just shared via Threads:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Shared recently on WeChat:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Shared recently on Threads:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Making waves on Slack:

Good morning to everyone who still believes what they see with their own two eyes.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴