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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

2 seconds ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Live now on Instagram:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Going viral on Slack:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Making waves on Threads:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Trending via TikTok:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Making waves on Instagram:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Making waves on Discord:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Home » Funny Launch Quotes

Funny launch quotes

New funny launch quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Commentary:
"Well, excuse me while I dial up some drama for tomorrow! 📞🤢 Can't wait to see the reactions when I 'soft launch' my call out the 'stomach bug' way. Your move, stomach… Your move. 🤣 #SneakyCallOutStrategies"
6 months ago
Share →: My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Commentary:
Ah, the joys of sick-day warfare! 💥 When your body turns into a battlefield and the cough drop becomes the unexpected hero launching across the room like a fearless warrior on a mission. 🚀 Who knew a sneeze could be so dramatic and a cough drop such a daredevil? Watch out, world, you've got a new cruise missile in town, and it's minty fresh! 😂🤧 #SickDayMissions

For even more funny launch quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny launch quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

2 seconds ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Trending via TikTok:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Making waves on Instagram:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Shared recently on X:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

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