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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,501

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Just landed via Slack:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Shared recently on Discord:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Going viral on Facebook:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Trending via Discord:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Breaking via WeChat:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

Funny lids quotes

Funny lids quotes are here to seal the deal on your day with a splash of humor! 😂 Whether you’re popping open a jar or just need a clever twist on everyday moments, these witty lines will have you cracking up and thinking twice about lids. 🥫✨ Ready to unlock some laughs? Let’s twist, shout, and chuckle our way through the quirkiest lid-inspired fun! 🎉🙌

New funny lids quotes 👇

All funny lids quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on YouTube this month:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

15 shares on Slack this month:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

36 shares on Slack this month:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

67 shares on X this month:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,381

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Seen just now on X:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Going viral on WeChat:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Freshly posted on Discord:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Shared recently on Twitch:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Spotted on Twitch:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Live now on Threads:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Making waves on Instagram:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

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